Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
