every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize