great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
