you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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