UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she told me i tasted like america
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
