"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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