i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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