I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it glows. i had to have it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
