hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
