Me too!
one might say we're banned from that church
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
