I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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