I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
