Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
