I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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