I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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