I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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