Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
