I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
