I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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