her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We have started to decorate penises.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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