That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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