i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
