Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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