I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
