dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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