The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
