We need to rekindle our bromance
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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