Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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