Your favorite bartender is back from prision
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
