Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
