Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
