I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
