i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
