I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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