I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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