he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
