We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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