if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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