So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
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oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
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Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I love you. Go after that dick
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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