Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do vagina's smell?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
