hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
