he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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