i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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