i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
