Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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