roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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