Michael Bay diarrhea
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
