Me. At least after what I've been through.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
