I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is wine microwaveable?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize