Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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