Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
