My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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