you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
