He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize