Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
