You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
