after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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