I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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