need another drink. this is the easiest way
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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