Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
