I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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