It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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