life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
