i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
