I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Randomize
